How to increase self esteem and confidence? – Great tips to follow!


If I could do it, you can!

business-man-again-1438677-639x755In one earlier post I wrote about “What is the Secret in life?” Why are some people so incredible lucky and get everything they wish for in life? What is the secret ingredient?

One of the answers to that question is self esteem. No doubt! That is the ingredient that makes other people aware of who you are. That you are serious about what ever you put your effort into. You put yourself in a high place, and it shows, and it works.

First of all; What is self esteem?

Many people mix that up with self confidence. But that is something quite different. You can be loaded with self confidence, without having so much self esteem. And people often do not think that it is such a big deal, as long as they have self confidence. But it is!

Here are a few check-points to find out if you are on the right or the wrong way when it comes to self esteem:

  1. If you are a mum, do you often prioritize YOURSELF?
  2. How is your car looking? At the inside. In the backseat. Is it tidy?
  3. If you need a new pair of jeans, do you buy the perfect, full priced one, that suits you perfect instead of three other jeans, that are on sale, that fits so so, that you can get for the same amount of money?
  4. Are you always late for meetings and have difficulties to make a decision?
  5. Do you love your self? Meaning, is your home neat and clean cause you love it that way or is it more that you clean up in panic, just because you are expecting guests? 😉

Well, if the answer to 1,2, 3 & 5 is “NO” you can continue to read!

How often we prioritize our self often says something about what “price” we put on ourselves. If we alway put others first, we tell our unconscious mind that we are not so important. If our car and our house, office, garden etc. always is a mess, we tell ourself the same thing. And we DO NOT want others to see it, cause we do not want them to see that we do not prioritize ourself. SO, when we know somebody is coming we work our butt of to make it look good. But all of this is partly causing a low self esteem.

What do people with high self esteem have in common?

They prioritize themselves! You can see it quite easily. They have a healthy care for them self. I am not talking about a selfish behavior, but a healthy attitude to their wellness. They come in time, they plan their day and follow a schedule, as far as it goes. They do not go for less. They go for quality vs. quantity. They are goal achievers!

So how can you get more self esteem ?

There are three ting you can start with:

  1. Clean up your house, your office, your car and your closet!
  2. Sort out WHAT you need. For instance when it comes to clothes. Find out exactly what you need. Put up a budget, and go and buy JUST that. Not five other things, cause they are on sale. (Here women have a bigger challenge then men, I think)
  3. Do what Louise Hay call “Mirror work”. Every morning, tell yourself, in the mirror; “I love you!”Dame_i_Speil   Every day.

I know. The last point may sound a bit freaky, but it is SO important. Cause you have to do some changes, and some (or all) of them has to be done in the unconscious mind.

I will cover that in a later post . But do it, and see what happens.  And how do you feel with your shiny, neat car? Write it down!

So, what about the self confidence?

I think you can have a lot of self confidence without so much self esteem, but I am not sure if the opposite is possible.

So, if you now start to work on your self esteem, I can guaranty you that something also will happen to your confidence. But one major tip here is also to Do things you have never done before, or thins you are afraid of doing.

When you master a new skill you will also raise your confidence. Take a course in public speaking. Pick anything that you at this point are afraid of doing. And DO it!!!

Then write down how you feel! I am sure it will increase your self confidence.

If you have any comments, feel free to write a reply. It is highly appreciated.

Live, Laugh, Love

Linda 🙂

PS. What do you think is your best advice for raising your self esteem and confidence ?



  1. Linda I read your previous post so it’s great to read another one. First, I’m a psychology professor so I love that you explain and distinguish the difference between self confidence and self esteem. Thank you. And the check point is great because it gives someone a place to start. I really like your site. It gets to the meat of things has relevant pictures, is easy to navigate and very clean to look at and pleasing to the eye.

  2. Chris

    Hey Linda,
    I like you’re article and for me personally I have a difficult time distinguishing between self esteem and self confidence.
    I like you point on doing something you’re afraid to do as this also is the key to making yourself happy. There’s actual research on this.
    Lastly I just wanted to say that I use to do a lot of mirror work to build up my self esteem. After several months I started to feel a lot better and not loathe myself so much.
    I look forward to more of your articles as I still have a keen interest in the self development area, thank you Chris.

    • Linda

      Thanks a lot for your comments, Chris.
      Yes, I do not think you are the only one who do not see a clear difference in self esteem vs. self confident.
      Great to hear you do the mirror work! Just keep on going with that.
      I wish you all the best!
      Live, Laugh, Love
      Linda 🙂

  3. What a wonderful site, Linda. Thank you so much for creating this, offering straightforward, easy to understand advice that will be beneficial to most. Keep them coming! x

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